"Mom, I'm losing myself"

I told my mom by the end of the month.

I lost it. 

Aku bahkan gak tau kenapa bisa demikian.

So I started to figure things out.

And it turns out...

Ternyata, selama menjalani residensi ini aku tidak melakukan hal yang sebenarnya paling aku sukai -dengan berkedok alasan sibuk dan ingin fokus belajar.

I found my self again after I went to Gramedia, buying books, and reading books. I told my mom that I want to start writing again because that's what I love the most. 

"Go on.." she said. "Do it because it lights your heart"

So here I am, writing at this moment, writing poems, and writing stories. 

In order to keep going, I need to do this.

P.S. I didn't realize that grocery shopping is also one of the things that makes me happy. Akan aku rutinkan hal tersebut. (It reminds me of my childhood). 

April, 2025